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A Girl in
the Battlefield
By China
Keitetsi, former child soldier,
currently living in Denmark
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When I was nine
years old, I became a soldier in Uganda and stayed there for
nearly 11 years. For girls . . . it's actually worse, because
we fight more battles. We fight with a gun and we fight with
the soul that our leaders are trying to take away from us.
They abuse us. And they are not young. They are 47 years old.
We look at them as our father, but they betray us. I myself
fought in three battles and, later, became a chief bodyguard
of one senior officer. Later, I went to the military police,
where I was a sergeant. I was a sergeant at the age of 14.
[Even after coming to Denmark] still I was afraid to say no. I
thought I would be punished as before, so I had to say
"Yes, sir" without question. Soon everything that I
had done in my former life began emerging, and the life that I
had ended started haunting me. Though I was given a
psychologist and a doctor, the nightmares seemed to be without
end.
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China
during her time as a sergeant
in the military police
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In my sleep, I saw
the shadows of my fellow child soldiers, who escaped by ending
their own lives with their gun. Again I saw the mass graves of
my fallen comrades, while those who abused me came to take me
back. I tried to move on, but the bad memories seemed to be
controlling my thoughts, making the simplest task hard. But I
was still happy in a way. Now I was no longer ordered to kill
or hate, but most beautiful of all: I no longer had to live my
life for others, and no force made me act against my will.
Despite all this new freedom, my fear seemed to be permanent.
I still felt the abuse and humiliation, and the scars, which
my body still carries. And they feel like marks for life. I
still have the fear, which I had to carry every day, and the
desperation I saw in almost any soldier.
End This
Madness
Writing my book My Life as a Child Soldier in Uganda
has helped me come to terms with my life, and made me see that
it is not only my soul that needs help; so many others are
still there. Their lives and pain might even be worse than
mine, because I'm in safe Denmark, and they are still being
told whom to kill and hate.
Now my war is to ensure that all children are allowed to grow
up with their innocence. I don't want to see or hear of any
child going through what I went through, but there is hope.
The reaction I have seen seems very constructive. NGOs and UN
officials are working nonstop to end this madness of abuse
against children. This love and concern might soon change the
child soldiers' lives, and give us what other human beings
have.
For more information, and details of her book, see China's
web site at: http://www.xchildsoldier.org
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