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Finding a Way Up
By Mindy Milam, New Orleans, U.S.A.
I know that to be born human means that at times we will
suffer, but nothing could have prepared me for having my
life as I know it suddenly and literally washed away when
Hurricane Katrina devastated New Orleans in October 2005. My
partner and I lost our house and nearly all of our
possessions, her car, a rental property and my business.
This has been the deepest grief of my lifetime. It is
impossible for me to describe in words my feelings at
witnessing our home submerged for several weeks beneath five
feet of seawater, sewerage, motor oils and other toxins; at
sifting through my lifetime's worth of now slime-covered
personal possessions; at having to place these on the curb
in front of my house like trash, and then watch a bobcat
scoop them into the back of a large truck to be destroyed.
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Buddhism talks about the idea of "turning poison into
medicine." When the storm and flood had subsided, I resolved
that this experience was my opportunity to do just that.
I found in The Writings of Nichiren Daishonin a
passage that reads, "Gold can be neither burned by fire nor
corroded or swept away by water, but iron is vulnerable to
both. A worthy person is like gold, a fool like iron. . . .
The sutra states . . . 'The good fortune you gain thereby .
. . cannot be burned by fire or washed away by water.'" I
placed this and a message of encouragement that we had
received from SGI President Ikeda regarding the hurricane on
my Buddhist altar, and read them as often as necessary.
The effort to remain a person of "gold" has been a daily
struggle. In the last two months we have lived in four
places, and are awaiting a government-issued travel trailer
we will park on our front yard and call home while we tackle
the rebuilding process.
Second-by-Second Struggle
When negative aspects of my life predominate and I plunge
into a world of despair and hopelessness, I remind myself
that the world of Buddhahood still exists within me--the
positive, undaunted aspect of our lives--and I chant for
that to manifest. Sometimes I struggle second by second
between the part of me that wants to give up because life is
so difficult right now, and that part of me that will not be
stopped or defeated.
I am encouraged by what Nichiren wrote about happiness:
"Suffer what there is to suffer, enjoy what there is to
enjoy. Regard both suffering and joy as facts of life, and
continue chanting Nam-myoho-renge-kyo, no matter what
happens." Such fortitude, he says, will enable one to
experience "boundless joy from the Law."
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The Buddhism I practice promises that my suffering can be an
opportunity to make my life even better than it was before
this disaster, if I am willing to be tenacious in my
efforts.
Throughout this experience I have chanted for the life force
and wisdom to make the best from this situation, focusing on
how I could use my skills and training as a licensed
clinical social worker to help people who are rebuilding the
city. I am now engaged in contract work providing stress
management and supportive counseling to staff for the
Federal Emergency Management Agency and other agencies. I am
also rebuilding my own private practice in counseling.
I believe in hope. I believe in my limitless potential, and
I am determined to continue to use this practice to help
heal my life, the lives of those around me, and my larger
community. I remind myself of the example of others who have
stayed strong in the toughest and most trying circumstances,
and that I can accomplish things in my life in the middle of
all of this suffering and destruction. I feel a deep sense
of gratitude to all of those people who are supporting me,
in a variety of ways. I want to be an example for others to
never give up. I will not quit!
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