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The Other Person's Point of View

The Three Faiths Community Project in London, U.K., aims to create a new and dynamic kind of active citizenship by helping young people transcend differences and develop a vision for the transformation of their communities. A government-funded SGI-UK initiative set up with Tooting and Balham Mosques, the New Testament Assembly Centre in Tooting and the South London National Centre of SGI-UK in March 2008, the project involves young people in workshops and discussions that confront religious and racial polarization. Three participants reflect on their involvement in the initiative.

Learning to Question

Zuber Mohamed, age 19, Muslim

photo Zuber

At the beginning, we didn't really know what was going on; we were just going along with it. None of us knew what the actual aim of the project was. One of the things that we learned is that all human beings are curious; when you are a little child, you are able to ask questions without thinking, "I wonder how he will react?" But, as you get older, you may still want to learn about things, but you find it hard to ask questions. In this project, we brought out all the issues that the media focus on but we don't want to talk about--for example, women wearing hijab; priests and pedophilia; Buddhists and self-harm. Everybody brings the stereotypes out in the open, and it is much easier to talk about them. Then people are more comfortable asking questions about the real issues.

In multi-faith groups, people might say, "You shouldn't have stereotypes." But that won't really help you get rid of your stereotypes. The project helped bring everyone back to basics: "We are all human, we are all working together, we have a lot more things in common than differences." Through this we became a well-connected group able to talk openly with one another.

When you ask questions, people can get defensive and think, "Why is he asking me that sort of question? What is he trying to say?" We covered certain topical issues such as the war in Iraq. We started to understand, "OK, so that's why you lot are saying this, and that's why we're saying this." It was face-to-face.

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The main intention, in most debates, is about getting your point across, but the point of appreciative inquiry is to understand the other person's point of view. One person hardly spoke at all, but he was just listening to everybody, and he was able to give more rounded opinions. I learned that to give the best answer, you have to get everybody's opinion, ask what everybody's saying and then give your answer.

I am studying at university for an economics and finance degree, and I manufacture perfume and design clothing. Learning about group dynamics, how to speak and listen to people, has helped me a lot. When I speak to people of other faiths, I normally get defensive; after going to the Three Faiths workshop I don't.

Getting to the Truth

Sharlette Reid, age 25, Christian

photo Sharlette

I learned how to discuss with other people on a deeper level. Many of us are very knowledgeable about our own ideologies, but the facilitators break down the barriers in order to discover the commonalities between different faiths. The more you get to know individuals, experiences and opinions from other faiths, the more you get past media stereotypes. We engaged in topical debates, and we found we were also divided within our faith groups over different issues. After all, we are still individuals whatever faith we belong to.

The more we learn about one another, the more we learn to appreciate that we don't know it all. And you learn to appreciate that another person's truth doesn't have to be your truth.

Today there are many divided cultural experiences. We need to spend time getting to know one another, to start to become more open to one another without people taking offense or getting alienated. We need to learn the truth behind our faith or religion.

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I am a teaching assistant working in a school, and I am about to do an MA in Education, Society and Policy. Cohesion is a huge topic. We can use Three Faiths as a template in schools to give people from other cultural backgrounds more of an insight. With Three Faiths we are not afraid to challenge other people about what they believe. At work and at school, we receive a lot of information, but we are often passive hearers and learners of information.

The group started in March 2008 and is still meeting now. We are organizing a conference with Sadiq Khan, the first Muslim cabinet minister in Britain, with members of other faiths as well.

A Courageous Endeavor

Gemma Novis, age 29, Buddhist

photo Gemma

We were asked to share our personal histories with the whole group. From past experience and the media I understood that both Christians and Muslims rejected same-sex relationships, and felt quite fearful of disclosing my relationship status in that environment. However, in the end I chose to share my personal history, and in that moment my experience transformed. By overcoming my fears, I was able to form friendships with members of the group, which proved my fears of rejection completely ungrounded. From this experience I learned that dialogue is a courageous endeavor.

I work as an Equality and Diversity Coordinator for the National Health Service (NHS) in Lewisham. I am aware that we each have the potential to label different groups of people negatively, absorb stereotypes via the media, become fearful of differences, feel inferior or superior toward others and, as a result, become angry with or place blame upon whole groups of people. These feelings all limit how far we can connect with one another in society. Appreciative inquiry is the action of asking ourselves if we are letting anything dominate our experiences of interacting with others; asking what has shaped our context, our views of others, how we feel, act or react around certain individuals or groups; how we behave and respond differentially to various individuals or groups for any reason. The answers to the questions we ask of ourselves then allow us the choice to either change our thoughts, words and actions, or not.

I realized that I should not allow myself to be dominated by stereotypical thinking, as this separates me from others. I should be courageous in being myself in all circumstances. Through the opportunity to spend more time reflecting on the part I may have played in allowing racism to continue in society, I have now chosen and committed myself to enable others to learn about appreciative inquiry and to speak out against negative messages. I am inspired to never be complacent and to make efforts to challenge myself in order to see discriminatory thinking and behaviors come to an end.

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I think the methodology used in the project is suited to people of all ages but would like to see it used with young people in particular. The project has shown me how young people of different faiths can join together and challenge social injustice--all three faiths can work toward the creation of peace in society.

It is important that as young people of faith we use our energy to create a better way of doing and being which benefits all people. For example, if all young people who practice a religion unite together and take action to see an end to racism in society, then I believe we will see magnificent shifts in how society and institutions operate. Young people are also the leaders of the future, so the impact of this project will be far-reaching and, hopefully, sustained.

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